HAHA!!

A MOTHER PASSING BY HER SON'S BEDROOM WAS ASTONISHED TO SEE THE BED WAS
NICELY MADE AND EVERYTHING WAS PICKED UP. THEN SHE SAW AN ENVELOPE
PROPPED UP PROMINENTLY ON THE CENTRE OF THE BED. IT WAS ADDRESSED "MOM".
WITH THE WORST PREMONITION, SHE OPENED THE ENVELOPE AND READ THE LETTER
WITH TREMBLING HANDS:

DEAR MOM,

IT IS WITH GREAT REGRET AND SORROW THAT I'M WRITING THIS. I HAD TO ELOPE
WITH MY NEW GIRLFRIEND BECAUSE I WANTED TO AVOID A SCENE WITH YOU. I'VE
BEEN FINDING REAL PASSION WITH BARBARA AND SHE IS SO NICE EVEN WITH ALL
HER PIERCINGS, TATTOOS, AND HER TIGHT MOTORCYCLE CLOTHES.

BUT IT'S NOT ONLY THAT MOM, SHE'S PREGNANT AND BARBARA SAID THAT WE WILL
BE VERY HAPPY. EVEN THOUGH YOU WOULDN,T CARE FOR HER AS SHE IS MUCH
OLDER THAN I.
SHE ALREADY OWNS A SHACK IN THE WOODS AND HAS A STACK OF FIREWOOD FOR
THE WHOLE WINTER. SHE WANTS TO HAVE MANY MORE CHILDREN WITH ME AND
THAT'S NOW ONE OF MY DREAMS TOO.

BARBARA TAUGHT ME THAT MARIJUANA DOESN'T REALLY HURT ANYONE AND WE'LL BE
GROWING IT FOR OURSELVES AND TRADING IT WITH HER FRIENDS FOR ALL THE
COCAINE AND ECSTASY WE WANT. IN THE MEANTIME, WE'LL PRAY THAT SCIENCE
WILL FIND A CURE FOR AIDS SO BARBARA CAN GET BETTER; SHE SURE DESERVES
IT!!

DON'T WORRY MOM, I'M 15 YEARS OLD NOW AND I KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF
MYSELF.
SOME DAY I'M SURE WE'LL BE BACK TO VISIT, SO YOU CAN GET TO KNOW YOUR
GRANDCHILDREN.

YOUR SON,
JOHN

P.S. MOM, NONE OF THIS IS TRUE I'M OVER AT THE NEIGHBOUR'S HOUSE. I
JUST WANTED TO REMIND YOU THAT THERE ARE WORSE THINGS IN LIFE THAN MY
REPORT CARD THAT'S IN MY DESK CENTER DRAWER. I LOVE YOU! CALL WHEN
IT'S SAFE FOR ME TO COME HOME.